Pink Is Not My Color
by Satin Knight
Summary: Shepard is feeling blue these days... and Liara came up with the worst possible solution to Shepard's depression. She obviously didn't know that the Commander isn't a hippie.


A knock on the door of the Commander's Cabin is heard, and seconds later there is a soft voice asking.

"Shepard, may I come in?"

_Liara._

No one answered, and the doors remained unopened.

"Shepard, are you in there?"

Liara pursued, but not a word came from Shepard's quarters.  
As long as she might reject it, the Asari didn't have much patience, and now she was losing it.

"EDI, open the doors." she roughly said, wondering about the commander.

_Shepard has to be in here, I checked the whole ship._

"Of course." The AI answered in her husky voice, though it was clearly that she reconsidered her options. EDI still cared about Shepard's privacy, even now when she couldn't have a camera in the Commander's Cabin.

But after a few seconds, the doors opened under EDI's invisible influence.

Liara silently thanked her, and stepped into the cabin.  
Once inside, she saw her dear friend lying on the bed.

Shepard stared at the endless space outside the upper window, her face didn't give any emotion – yet a close friend, such as Liara, could decipher that she is anxious and depressed.  
How could she not be worried?  
Every day another hundred faces vanish under the Reapers, and all the job falls on a tired human woman, who is apparently known as The Commander Shepard.

"Shepard, are you well?" Liara asked, while walking towards the bed.

"Thank you, but I'm fine, Liara – you don't have to waste your time on me." She said politely, but her voice uninterested and rasp, as if she wasn't up for any activity which didn't involve her king sized bed.

_Maybe that will get her out, _Shepard thought, wanting to be left alone.

"I have plenty of time right now. I came to see how you're doing, since we didn't talk much these days. And I can with assurance say that something's bothering you."

"That's not true. Nothing's bothering me, I'm just tired."

"Shepard, don't lie to me!" the Asari growled, "I know you very well, and you don't have to hide that you're sad in front of me."

Liara sat on her bed and looked into Shepard's emerald eyes. There was great annoyance in them.

"Well, you know what, Liara? You're totally right! I'm feeling down and I don't want you here!" she stood up and stomped toward the bathroom, not turning once to see Liara's worried face.

Liara, feeling defeated, went out of the cabin – but not without thinking of her friend's problem... and the solution of it, of course.

* * *

_Next morning, the Normandy flew to the Citadel._

Shepard got out of her bed, barely standing on her shaky legs. She quickly collected herself, and stretched her arms and legs – preparing to go down on breakfast.

She reached for the wardrobe, still a little bit groggy.

_Just to get dressed and I'm ready to-_

"What the hell?!"

She closed her eyes in disbelief and rubbed them fiercely, but took a look again after some time to be sure her sight isn't messing up with her.

What she saw was a closet. An empty one. The shelves, which are usually covered in dark clothing, now were abandoned – except for a pair of underwear... and a necklace.

Who could've stolen her clothes? _Why _would someone steal her clothes?

"Oh, God... No, no, no!" she muttered curses, and Liara was in one of them.

The doors of her cabin opened, and Shepard jumped in surprise. She quickly grabbed the bed coverings to hide her half naked body.

"Good morning, Shepard" the blue invader spoke, a smirk on her lips.

"Not so good." she barked, "Where are my clothes?"

"Well, I don't know... In the store, maybe?" Liara teased.

"Liara, I know it was you! Now tell me where are my clothes!"

"Or what?"

Shepard held on that for a moment, but didn't get an answer from her thinking. There was nothing you could threaten your best friend with, and even less so when your best friend was Liara.

"Oh, Shepard... I know you maybe won't forgive me thi-"

"No, I will not forgive you!"

"Okay, your choice. But I want to explain." she took a deep breath, and stated: "All of your clothes were either black or dark blue, and these are very depressing colors, Shepard. It's no wonder that you feel depressed and... pathetic."

"So not true, Liara!"

"It is true, I studied this! Now... you're going with me to the Citadel, so that we can buy you some cheery clothes." Liara smiled at her own ideas, not feeling guilty or worried anymore – instead, she looked forward to the shopping awaiting her and Shepard.

Shepard tightened her grip of the covers and frowned in rejection.

"Or... I might go alone. In that case, you're going to fight the Reapers in a shirt with Pinkie Pie on it's front."

"Wait, you know about _My Little Pony_!?" Shepard demanded with a horrified look on her usually unemotional face. But she was just a human, and like every other, open to surprise – and this particular Asari surprised her a lot.

"Of course I do. For you, Shepard, I studied even about _Justin Bieber_..."

* * *

Shepard wore Liara's white clothes, a sweater and blue pants with white lines. Liara was kind enough to give Shepard's boots to her.

She said that all of Shepard's clothes were thrown away, but Shepard didn't quite believe her. Liara wouldn't be so cruel.  
Eventually she will give her all clothes back... won't she?

Liara's hand was gripping her wrist as they together searched the Citadel's malls.

There were so many shops, and Liara stopped in every each one of them. Shepard couldn't believe how much of a _girl _can an Asari be.

"This, Shepard? Do you like this?" she pointed to the shiny silver jacket, and then she turned towards a _pink skirt_, "And this? Hey, there's a magenta vest top! And cyan trousers! We're so buying this!"

She picked up the garments and rushed to the salesman, who was a Turian.  
Shepard felt her stomach turn upside down at the thought of her wearing... pink shirts and turquoise leggings.

What will her crew think of her?

And when she thought that it can't be any worse, Liara stopped at a shop named _Sunshine_.

The Asari giggled, much to Shepard's despair and annoyance, and pulled her in the boutique.

_Sunshine_ was run by a young human woman who instantly caught Shepard's eye. The girl had _green _hair and wore bright yellow skirt, a half-shirt of the same color, and colorful rings decorating every finger of her both hands. She was like a light to the whole store.

Shepard silently prayed for herself, even though she didn't believe in any particular religion. She needed all the help she could get, she even considered asking another customer to get her free from Liara... but things didn't go that far, and Liara would never leave Shepard until she's done with the _shopping spree_.

She turned around herself, and Shepard almost crashed on the floor from the color rhapsody hitting her in the head like a hammer.

_Bright yellow... shiny white... blazing red... vivid magenta... glittering black?!_

_My God!_

_Close your eyes, dumbass! It doesn't help!_

"Liara, can we, please, please, please, get away from this shop as quick as possible?"

"Come on, we just came here! And by the way, I lead, not you."

"But you've tortured me enough! Liara, I'll never forgive you! I thought you were my best friend!"

"I am your best friend, and I'm doing this because of your own good."

"But -"

"Oh, look at this dress! It's so beautiful! I have to buy it! What do you think, Shepard? Do you like it?" she pointed towards a maize yellow dress. It was quite short, and with a big, puffy skirt.

"Ah... I don't think it would suit you very well, and plus, it's expensive." Shepard muttered, still hazy.

"No, no... I would buy it for you, like everything else." she smiled warmly.

"Liara... I'm tired of this!"

* * *

_Aboard the Normandy_

There were many giggles in the Combat Information Center as the Commander passed through it.

Shepard tried to concentrate on her mission, but it was impossible to do so when all the crew glared at her as if she turned to a Turian.

"What are you staring at?" she growled.

"You look... radiant, Commander." Kaidan mentioned coming beside her, and grinned at Shepard's yellow outfit with a black puppy on the shirt.

"Um... thanks?"

* * *

_Ending – not official... nor logical:_

_And so The Commander Shepard defeated the almighty Reapers... but not with the Crucible. _

_She came to the battle wearing a pink armor, despite her refusal to do so, much more pinkier than Ashley's one was, and it fit perfectly with her face._

_When she reached the Reapers – they all stopped attacking, and the husks just stood there, motionless, and stared at the Commander in the middle of London._

_The Harbinger Reaper suddenly stated that a creature so cute and beautiful – such as Shepard – cannot be killed._

_They went on another Galaxy, but Shepard warned them not to come here again... or she will be even prettier._

_If Shepard didn't wear the pinkie armor and the beautiful kitty vest top beneath it... who knows what would've happened?_


End file.
